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Love hurts and it don't

"Evolution of the peppered moth"—-

It is an analogy we can apply to present-day relationships. During the industrial revolution, the moth population changed color due to the overwhelming pollution that had become prevalent during that time. When the pollution decreased, the moth population changed back to the predominated light color that they initially started as.

The current state of relationships

The climate of relationships can become challenging to navigate, especially when we're carrying so much baggage. Trauma from past relationships can have us going from one wrong relationship to the next. This baggage or unnecessary excess can lead one to pass up significant opportunities. At times, we can't recognize healthy relationships only because we've grown comfortable with the chaos, dysfunctions, and toxicities.

We try to adapt to survive like the "peppered moths," but unlike them, we never get out of the survival mode or slow down. We never go back to our core selves. To be true to you, you must face the fears, hurts, rejections, and disappointments; while loving ourselves enough to fix it.

Bad habits can be hard to break

Work on kicking the addiction we have to this very harmful lifestyle. No one deserves to be verbally, physically, or financially abused. No one deserves to be mistreated.

However, we have to take responsibility for our part in allowing ourselves to be mistreated, abused, and hurt, all in the name of love.

As Valentine's Day quickly approaches and you start to notice all the couples happy and in love. You may wonder to yourself, "Why can't I find a love like that?" or you may be tired of the dating scene altogether. I want to equip you with some tips and tools that may help not fall into temptation.

Avoiding Temptation

1) The Temptation to go back to that toxic relationship

The holidays are the breeding ground for those "Hey stranger" or "Hey you" text. Beware that you may be tempted to see the good in a bad situation. Forgetting all the hell this person put you through and why the relationship ended in the first place. Do yourself a favor just block them. Delete their number from your phone because you deserve better. But it would help if you believed that first.

2)The Temptation to entertain someone you're not interested in

It doesn't feel right to find out that a person you're genuinely interested in only called or went out with you because they were bored. If you know you're not interested, don't try to build your ego on deceiving someone you don't want because you're lonely for the holidays.

3) The Temptation of self-pity

It's easy to throw a pity party and say " woe is me" but don't do it. Just because you're single doesn't mean you have less worth. Use this time work on yourself, build other relationships, and begin to show yourself with the love you want someone else to give you.

So remember, if you can't receive love from yourself, you won't be able to obtain it from someone else.

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