It's a new year, and you have made it through the holidays; Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's eve single and loving it. Now the big one is around the corner, Valentine's Day!
You're going to be alright
I know how hard some of these holidays can be when you're single, but it's all in how you look at things. The theme for 2020 is "Don't take the Old into the New."
I believe the reason why we tend to fall into the trap of the holidays is because of all the romantic comedies/dramas. That continues to tell us that we need someone during these times, and life will be so much better.
Most Romantic Comedies start boy meets girl, falls head over heels in love, and rides off into the sunset. Unfortunately, life doesn't happen that way. More like boy meets girl, falls in love but experiences drama, heartbreak, betrayal, and may not even end up together. I used to be one of those "hopeless romantics" who loved to watch rom-coms or romantic dramas. Fervently hoping the storyline would one day happen to me. You know the one when you meet a ridiculously handsome guy. Who by the grace of everything right in this world checks off entirely on my "perfect mate list." He's so sweet, charming, and adores the ground I walk on, and I too have finally become a Disney Princess. Yeah, no, this isn't a movie or virtual reality or some Sims game. Life is not a movie. Movies and games are here to give us a break from reality while trying to make us less cynical and perhaps a little hopeful for the future.
One of my favorite rom-coms is "Just Wright." The main female character, Leslie Wright, is always put in the friend-zone, even though I honestly believed that she placed herself there, but that is a topic for another conversation at another time. Anyways, she falls for this gorgeous basketball player, Scott McKnight, at the beginning of the movie. She had the opportunity to shoot her shot, and she didn't. Not taking the chance to show him she was interested in him was her first mistake. Ladies, I'm not telling you to throw yourself at a guy but show some sign that you're interested. Don't undervalue your worth cause many people won't appraise your real value if you don't know your worth.
So after Leslie dropped the ball, her gold-digging Godsister Morgan decides to swoop in for the loose ball. Honestly, you can't be mad at a woman that knows what she wants and goes after it. As time progresses, Scott has a career shattering injury that Morgan couldn't handle. Leslie hired as his physical therapist, and with her skills, Scott ultimately regains his life and career. But who does he go back to? Morgan, the one who left him while his life was in shambles. Eventually, Scott realizes that he was in love with Leslie and leaves Morgan to go after the love of his Life Leslie.
I said all that to say this; I idealized this movie to point where certain aspects of it reflected pieces of my own life. I had met this guy who was pretty much everything I ever wanted, but I kept myself in the friend zone. When he asked whether or not I liked him, I kept a facade with him and lied. Anyways, he started dating this other person, and one day he ended up getting in a terrible accident, which made him lose his career. Being a supportive friend, I encouraged him through his depression, frustration, and anger. The relationship he was in ended, and I was there to let him know that everything would be fine.
Meanwhile, I was falling for him more but would never say anything. While visiting a friend, I introduce them to each other, not thinking nothing of it. She knew how I felt about him. They eventually got together, and I was devasted. I thought he would realize how in love he was with me and come running, but that didn't happen. He was the one that told me that Life wasn't a romantic movie and that real life doesn't always come out perfect. It was a hard pill to swallow, but it was something I needed to hear.
Here are my tips on living your best life Just Wright
1) If you don't shoot your shot, that's on you.
Always be confident. Embrace that you are uniquely made. It sucks, but rejection is a normal part of life. It builds character and the realization that everyone is not going to be interested in you, and that's ok. Everybody doesn't have to like you; we all have a choice.
2) Love is a two-way street.
Don't always expect the other person to be the pursuer. Try to meet them halfway by flirting or showing some interest.
3)Be a risk-taker
Get out your comfort zone and own way and start taking chances. You might meet the love of your life.
Unlike all those characters in the movies, you can write your own story and live a life you've dreamed about. Challenge yourself every day to live an amazing and memorable life.
"Life is about the moments you make, the risk that you and how it all made you feel."
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